8 MORE DAYS! 
today was only half productive.:/
but dinner with sean, tim and their mom was good.
it was amusing to see how they communicate within the family,
and it made me think about the memories of the 3 of us growing up together (: 
anyway, i shouldn't even be blogging now! 
a full day of studying with gloria and vernon tmr.
i better be productive! 
toodlesss
<3
 

my dad just reminded me how little time i have left.
and of how i'm not doing enough.
i just realised that i still have soooo many things i'm not sure of. 
:/ 
ahhhhhhhh. D: 

 

countdown, exactly 3 more weeks or less till A levels. omg :/ 
anyway graduation was on friday (: 
after those 3 years, i've finally graduated! 
it seems like i'll miss the people and memories of the 3 years here afterall. 
especially those who mean alot to me <3 
i'll update more about graduation soon! 
right now, i feel like i'm swimming in overdued essays, revision essays and math questions D: 
thing is, despite the short span of time left, i'm STILL procrastinating. 
ahhhhh. shoot me please.
i feel like my brain's all mushed up :/ 

 

i'm feeling the pressure and fear for the upcoming A levels.
i don't feel prepared.
i'm really scared :( 6 more weeks. thats scary! 
once again math was a major disappointment and horrible done.
why why why. :( 
okay enough with the whining.
MUG HARD everyone!  

play time's over and it's back to the books.
the long weekend's been pretty fruitful! 
with outings, a lazy saturday, budget buys at the flea market and a short movie marathon (: 
2 more meetups with betty and old cell <3 and kleo whom i haven't caught up with in a gazillion years!  
before the end of my social life till A levels (: 
photos would be up soon! 
till then,
toodles <3 

to close my eyes and drift away, and enter a reality that i don't want to awake from.
 

the prelims are over! which means it's that much closer to the A levels.

post prelims was spent with Gloria, Kim, Jerome, Jamie, Daniel and Mabel. (: 
it was fun hanging out with the bunch of them, different in a good way (: 
it's time to get back to studying though, 
i'm not really looking forward to getting those grades back. 
i don't know what to expect :S 
especially for econs, lit and gp. 
math was horrid. 
i don't really have a good feeling about hist either. 
which leaves, the entire prelims being rather shaky. 
i really want to do well, but it feels like i'm stuck in that pit of failure all the time :/
i feel stupid too sometimes, because i'm aware of the steps to take to improve and all
but the grades are just demoralising me further, causing me to doubt myself,
of whether i have the capacity to get the grades.
okay enough with the rants over what's done. 
i need all the motivation, strength and support i can get, to press on and to push myself! 



 

the combined cello and piano arrangement for coldplay's viva la vida and taylor swift's love story is on replay :D
loveeeee it
just by seeing the fun the pianist has playing that piece
and being able to even arrange in such an awesome way makes me wanna be like him too!
as unrealistic as it sounds, 
i was just wondering if i should try out for the yong siew toh music school in NUS after A levels as an extra degree or something  (: 
lessons would be really cool!
imagine having lessons on a stage with your very own grand piano and your teacher's one just beside yours. 
yes wishful thinking because the requirements to even apply are way beyond my league :(  
it'd be even cooler if i could go to an overseas arts or music school! like in the UK. 
ahh how nice. 
sadly, it's almost impossible to make it to any music school :( 
unless you're a born music genius. 


 

today officially marks the last day of my band term.
and as ironic as it is, i'm really gonna miss band.
i remember how i'd used to complain about how horrible practices were for me last year.
but no longer do i feel so.
Not to forget i have the sweetest juniors ever! (: 
thank you so much for the farewell gift and all! i really appreciate it (: 
I'd definitely miss band practices with you all and the nonsense that we have during breaks in between practices. :( 
Nevertheless, we must still catch up even though the J2s aren't in band anymore.! <3

okay back to the books! i should be studying D: 
 

i wish i'd stop bumping into people and seeing things i rather not.
it always leaves me in deep thought and temporal emotional battles within the mind. :/  

i so shouldn't be blogging right now but i'm rather screwed for history.
omg D:
whatever i tried remembering is being thrown back into my stack of notes.
one whole BIG CHAPTER to go.
God bless me.
i just hope i won't have get like a brain block tomorrow.
wish me luck!  
and what's worst, most of my my papers have been pretty awful.
i'm not looking forward to getting back any at all. 
toodles <3

transformers was AWESOME! :D
love the show and i wouldn't mind watching it over and over again :) 
but right now it's a snap back to reality that CTs ARE NEXT WEEK.
omg. i feel rather unprepared.
but i'll show those people at home that i can do it and have them stop underestimating me.
press on! 
<3 

 

way overdued from R project! 

frolick with alicia after holiday lessons.

rather productive study session and catch up with miffy/mifiona (: 

will update the rest soon.
for now, i need to push myself harderrr. i need tons of self discipline and to have less social life.
i'm left with 2 more chapters of hist. then there's econs and math D: 
okay that's almost everything. 
press on everyone (: 

seriously, i expected you to be more mature.
how childish can you get? 
i really wonder what you'll do next,
block me off msn? 

 

mifiona ((: thanks so much for coming all the way to pass me the strings and being a really great tutor<3 

these are the people that make band more bearable, and why sometimes i look forward to going practices for. thank you (: 

and not to forget the beloved flute section that i grew to enjoy to being in (: 


( it's been a while since i've updated (:  )

 am i that unimportant that sometimes i feel like i'm mostly talking to the walls?
but no i am not pointing fingers at anyone. 
it's just a random thought. 
then again, maybe i'm thinking too much. 

 

stop bloody hell comparing me with someone whom u want me to be.

stop saying stuff that are just demoralising.
stop trying to use reverse psychology to make me feel bad.
just leave me alone.
and let me study at my own's will and not have u nagging and throwing discouraging words down my back.
STOP treating me like i'm a primary school kid.  
I'm 18 years old for God's sake. 

 my headache's killing me D: 
it's like someone's knocking in my head.
whoever it is go awayyy! 

 it's always at this time of the year that i get this unusual feeling of emptiness.
i get flashbacks of what happened 2 years ago and am reminded of things i rather not remember.   
that scar that refuses to go away.
.dont get me wrong, because i'm not regretting anything, 
it just kinda sucks how we still can't have a proper conversation even though it's been so long.